"Now Ye Hear Of Endless Bliss"

Towards the end of Leroy Anderson's, "A Christmas Festival," (which you can listen to by clicking on the link) the lower brass of the orchestra begin the tune, "O Come All Ye Faithful," which is then "stolen" by the trumpet section. I say this because when we performed this piece in my high school band, I was a member of the lower brass section and resented that the trumpet section got to take over the melody that we had started rather majestically. When you listen to the piece in the link, you will hear it happen at 7:19 into the piece.

The photos above are "before and after" pictures of a pine tree that sprouted in my yard this summer. When I first noticed it, I immediately made plans for it at Christmas time (with apologies to Charles Schulz) and the photos above are those plans come to fruition. Until Christmas Eve, the tree appeared as you see it on the left. Yesterday afternoon, I added more decorations and the string of lights that now adorn it as you see in the picture on the right. And yes, my neighbors are not offended by my tackiness. Some of them even admitted their delight and approval.

I recently heard a Christmas sermon that spoke of the birth of the Christ child, but the sermon focused entirely on the fact that the birth of Jesus was necessary for the salvation of humanity. The message of the sermon was that until humanity accepts that, they are nothing.

I heard another Christmas message last night that also acknowledged the birth of Christ. That message gave humanity credit for knowing that because of the birth that was being celebrated, humanity knew how to pay the gift forward by being reminded of the enormity of the gift.

As the pictures of the tree above show, we can choose to remain burdened by the weight of inaccurate messages and thought. Or, knowing that there is strength in wherever our inherent goodness resides, we will allow ourselves to shine the light of goodness into the world without judgement or condemnation of those whose lights shine with less intensity, or do not shine at all.

Happy Holidays.

Title from John Mason Neale's lyrics to the tune of "In Dulci Jubilo."

"Repeat, Repeat, The Sounding Joy."

Some of you may have read this before. I feel the need to repost it.

         Give Christmas Away.

            Voices are ringing this year. They are at every pitch and every personality a voice can have. There are shouts, returned greetings, wishes followed by handshakes or hugs, all delivering the wishes of all the events and occasions that take place in this time at the start of the season of winter.

            Some of those voices have also been ringing with the dismay that the greeting of “Merry Christmas” has been replaced with “Happy Holidays.” A small town newspaper editor in the December 8, 2005 edition of his paper related, “We Americans are expected to respect the cultures, traditions, and practices of other nations and peoples, and rightfully so. But what about our culture, and our traditions, and our practices? “

            Who are “we?” Are “we” the Native Americans who inhabited this land before our Spanish and Anglo Saxon ancestors came here to explore? Are “we” the African Americans who were deposited here by descendants of “our” Anglo Saxon ancestors? Are “we” any of the immigrants who gazed upon the message held high by the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor?

            To feel that “we” are the ones being persecuted by not being made to feel comfortable in saying “Merry Christmas” is missing the entire foundation of the Christmas Holiday. If the observers of Christmas were to be true to the holiday, evergreens in houses would have to disappear (actually, some of “our” Puritan ancestors outlawed Christmas observances in the mid-1800’s in “our” country). The lights on “our” houses, the wrapping paper, the sending of Christmas cards were not part of the origin of Christmas. “We” have added all that.

            Maybe saying “Happy Holidays” does diminish the amount of times we get to say the word “Christmas.” Even the word, “Christmas” wasn’t used until several centuries after the event it commemorates. Its use came about from some of “our” ancestors trying to tie in the observance of the birth of Christ to existing festivals and holidays with origins in the Roman Empire. “Our” ancestors actually caused the existing observances of Saturnalia, Yule, and the flight of Oden to be diminished or eliminated by the evolution of the Christmas holiday.

            With all the compassion and joy that the Holidays observed in this time frame intend to generate, I will wish the appropriate greeting of “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hanukah,” or “Joyous Kwanza,” when I know what greeting is appropriate. If I am not sure, I will wish “Happy Holidays” with the same compassion and joy. I don’t worry that Christmas will be taken away from me if I don’t say “Merry Christmas.” I don’t think Christmas is mine or “ours” to keep. I think Christmas is to be given away. Maybe it’s time to bring everyone together again.

I think, one day we will get to see the creator of this world. I believe when we see the creator, we will see a form like we never could have imagined. We will ask, “How did you come up with that?” The reply will be, “You could have done the same. I gave you all the ingredients.”

May Peace, Joy, Grace and Love be in your life from now until you meet the creator of this world. Happy Holidays.

Annoying Though It May Be

The sign in the picture above hangs above the doorway from the foyer to the kitchen in my house. When you enter the front door, it is directly straight ahead in the line of vision.

The sign was a gift to me by a friend soon after the arrival of "the alien." The reason she gave it to me is because the expression was one of my standard responses about what was taking place at the time. The reality was that I couldn't go back in time and prevent the diagnosis from happening. I accepted the diagnosis and moved on. 

However, my acceptance did not mean that I accepted that the alien possessed me. 

On the night that I was admitted to the hospital, my defense mechanism kicked in. Not by choice. My defense mechanism was humor. It was in force enough to make the nurse who was attending me that evening ask, "Mr. Frazee, do you understand what your diagnosis is?" I replied, "Absolutely, but what can I do about it right now?"

I was not skilled enough to consciously switch on the humor switch that night, but it came on, and once it came on, it stayed on. I recently  made a presentation entitled, 'Effective Patient Communication. Truths and "Wished I Would Haves" From My Alien Adventure.' I shared stories of some of my silliness from that time and some of the ideas I came up with later that I wished I would have done.

What ultimately happened, once the doctors and nurses accepted me as I was, is that I became more approachable for them and they didn't necessarily have to take the deep breath before entering the exam room and worry about, "How do I tell him this?" Instead, I like to think that before they came into the exam room with me in it, they asked themselves, "What is he going to do today?"

Yes, it was what it was. But, it wasn't acceptance. 

Instead, I like to think it turned into this:

"Truly charity has no limit; for the love of God has been poured into our hearts by His Spirit dwelling in each one of us, calling us to a life of devotion and inviting us to bloom in the garden where He has planted and directing us to radiate the beauty and spread the fragrance of His Providence." - St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622)

The Next Last Time

The next time I use this piece of luggage, I will be able to say that the last time I used it was for a trip to Ocean Isle Beach, NC from October 21-25. To prove it was there, I took this picture from the balcony of my hotel room with the Atlantic Ocean in the background (a day or so before Hurricane Sandy started affecting the waves).

The last time I used this piece of luggage, prior to the trip to Ocean Isle Beach, was when I loaded it to maximum capacity for my stay at the L'Hotel BMT at MCV in July/August 2009. I didn't really need to use this bag for the trip to Ocean Isle, but I did anyway. All said and done, it was perfect to take along because of all the many storage features it contains and as a result, almost everything fit in it vs. taking multiple smaller pieces of luggage.

The last time I was at Ocean Isle was well before "the alien" came to visit. I had been hankering to go to the beach while I was receiving treatment for "the alien," but just never had the opportunity to get there. Ocean Isle Beach is one of my favorites as it is not so congested and fall is a perfect season to go. And, with a view like the one below (another picture taken from the balcony of my hotel room), how can you resist?

It was great to be there and great to complete another circle that needed to be closed. I've learned it is important to do that.

Didn't draw one in the sand, though.

Let Me Make One Thing Perfectly Clear

Yesterday was the second round of "childhood immunizations." Not a big deal at all. It cracks me up when the nurse says, "Sorry for the sting," before she puts the needle in my arm. I reference the discomfort of regular biopsies, bone marrow biopsies and port removals as discomfort I did not enjoy.

As you can see from the above chart (it is mine and everything), I am halfway completed with the immunizations. Some of you may recall that when you received your polio shot way back when (around the same time period I received mine as a child), the polio vaccine left a scar on you. It doesn't happen anymore. In fact, all of the shots I received yesterday were given in my left arm. As I type this, I can feel where they were given, but no side effects or discomfort.

Also, you may see an influenza vaccine was also given. That is not to replace the annual flu vaccine that is due this year.

5 of the 8 vaccines I will receive in the process will require multiple administrations as you can see from the white boxes.

Here is a "trick of the trade" I have learned. When vaccinations are given, the person giving the vaccine will usually draw the vaccine from the bottle with a larger needle, then remove the needle from the syringe and replace it with another needle that will be used to inject the vaccination. When I received my swine flu vaccine in 2009, the person giving the vaccine used the same needle to withdraw and administer. As a result, the needle "stung" more than usual. When I asked about it, the person told me that the health department where I received my vaccine only used one needle in order to save costs. However, the main benefit to the patient for the "needle switch" is that the needle will not hurt as much because it has not been "dulled" by piercing the membrane in the vaccine bottle. Kind of the same concept as why a dull knife hurts more than a sharp knife when it cuts you.

My biggest complaint, however, is that since I am receiving my childhood vaccinations again, you would think that afterwards I would get some sort of treat for being a good patient.

So begins my campaign against Chronological Bias.

"With Six You Get..."

(Photo credit: Turner Classic Movies)

I had the annual follow up appointment on Friday, August 10 at MCV. When the pre-transplant coordinator saw me sitting in the waiting area, she asked, "Why are you here?" I told her I was there for the annual oil change and tire rotation.

The appointment is the final round of check-ins and exams for now. Six months from now is blood work and check up with regular oncologist and that is it. No scan, bone marrow biopsy or pulmonary function test until a year from now.

Between now and then, I will be going through a regimen of childhood vaccinations. During my appointment, I received 6 vaccinations for Tdap ( Tetanus, Diptheria, Pertussis), Haemophilus Influenzae Type b, Hepatitis B, Meningococal and Polio.

When I asked why the protocol had changed regarding vaccinations for autologous patients,  I received the following answer (and I paraphrase): The stem cell transplant protocol has only been utilized for 30 years. Therefore, as new data is collected, protocols change. In the past, survival rates for the procedure were lower than they are now. As a result, patients were rarely (if ever) at risk for contracting any of the ailments that childhood vaccinations are intended to prevent. Since polio, whooping cough, measles, mumps, etc. still exist in the world due to several reasons, those with immune systems that were severely compromised need to be protected from them. As I said to the doctor, "It would stink to die from cancer, but even more to die from meningitis after you were cured of cancer."

So, there are more vaccinations to receive down the road, but it's OK by me.

RE: The Carolina boys, Bo and Hunter; they are doing well. Bo had his most recent round of testing last week and he remains cancer free. Hunter has his coming up, but in Facebook pictures that his mother posts, he looks great!

I have to share this comment from Bo. His mother sent it to me last week. "Bo said to the lady at registration, 'Sometimes I’m glad I got cancer because I got to meet some really awesome people because of it'.  Made me proud and sad at the same time." 

Well done, Mr. Baker.

It's A Wrap

(Photo credit: "Stripes" / Columbia Pictures / 1981)

This round of testing is all done. Visit with the doctor is also done. One thing remaining is the annual oil change and tire rotation at MCV (the official designation is an annual checkup, but how boring is that?).

One thing the folks at MCV did tell me in advance of my appointment is that they have changed their protocol and I will now have to get all of my immunization shots again (i.e. mumps, polio, etc.). Not what I envision when they talk about "second childhood," but anything for an excuse to misbehave some more. I suspect I understand the reasoning behind the change in protocol, but will confirm after I meet with them next Friday.

RE: Bone marrow biopsy this time. I actually got to experience the process twice. The first attempt was unsuccessful due to the fact that the point of access had to be shifted. Reason is that if the same point is accessed, then the sample accessed may not be "old timber" bone marrow, but rather "new growth" bone marrow that regrew after the last sample was retrieved. It is important to collect a sample that has a history of containing cancer vs. a newer growth sample that was never affected. In changing the access point, there was more discomfort as there was more tissue to move through. The kind person performing the procedure made the call to discontinue the procedure and reschedule me to have the procedure done via an X-ray guided process. When I asked why she didn't try the other side, she responded, "I had already put you through enough discomfort, I didn't want to add any more discomfort to your day." Honestly, it wasn't awful. Just some weird discomfort in a weird location.

Second attempt went fine and the doctor performing the biopsy did a great job. I got to meet some more people in the "business." The bone marrow sample he collected was at least 1.5" long and he let me look at it. I consider myself lucky in that I can say I am in a select group of people who have actually seen their bone marrow. I think it is kind of cool to see the "nucleus" of your own body. What others see of me may not be all that, but I do think I have interesting, and very attractive, bone marrow.

The doctor visit was Thursday of this week and the results from all the testing is "all clear." No abnormalities to report. Blood work was all in the normal ranges. Platelets still aren't back to the days before the arrival of the alien, but they probably never will be again. That's the facts, Jack. However, platelet counts can be altered by any number of reasons and not just the history of an alien or the concoctions that kill them.

So that's it for now. Next appointment isn't until February and there will be no more "fun" testing until a year from now.

I just noticed that it was three years ago this very day that I came home from my "summer at the spa." Ain't that just somethin'.

Cool stuff on the horizon for all of us is this. Wonder if they will find any aliens?