Come Visit And Talk For A Spell

Almost 15 years ago to the day, I was visiting my grandmother (she's the one on the left, with the headscarf, in the above picture). Unbeknownst to me at the time, she would would pass away a month later. In her earlier years, she wrote a weekly column for the local newspaper, sharing the news from Sinclair Ridge, WV. She would hand write the article on Sunday evening, then drop it in the mail on Monday for publication in the paper that hit the newsstands on Friday. Most of the columns detailed the comings and goings of the residents of the area, but sometimes would detail the recent purchase of a new bovine on a local farm.

In addition to her column writing, she would faithfully write a letter to any and all of her family and friends that would write to her. Again, on a weekly basis, as long as you replied to her previously sent letter.

Once I moved away to college, I would write to her to let her know how things were going, not necessarily on a weekly basis, but on a regular basis of at least once a month.

As she got older and was unable to write, the regularity of my letters to her dropped off and ultimately stopped. During my last visit with her, most of the visit was comprised of telling her what was happening outside of the nursing home where she resided.There wasn’t much two way conversation, as she was not physically well and unable to communicate effectively.

Until…as I was leaving and finished saying, “See you next time, Grandma,” she responded with, “You could write to me more often.” At the same time, I swear I saw a grin come across her face. Those were her last words to me.

Last Monday evening, I paid a semi-regular visit to the folks in the Bone Marrow unit where I was treated in 2009. They always are happy to see me (or at least do a good job of acting like it). They never fail to say, “You look great!” They say that, but if George Clooney was standing next to me, they wouldn’t notice whether I looked great or not. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I take them treats when I do visit them.

During the visit, one of the nurses told me that very few patients ever come back to visit. I asked what their opinion was as to why most patients do not return. I think it may be due to the fact that many of their patients are from out of town and would have to make a two hour round trip to visit. However, they said that once most patients are done with the process, they want no reminders of it. 

I understand completely. When I am on the floor of the unit, I can look down the hallway and see the room that I was in when I was a patient there. However, I really have no desire to step back in that room just for old times’ sake. I will, however, step into any other room on the floor to talk to a patient who wants to talk to someone else who has “been there, done that.”

Regarding going back to see the nursing staff every so often, it seems unnatural to me not to do it. They have spoken that it reinforces their commitment to their careers when a patient who is doing well comes back to visit. It is a physical manifestation of, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Even if that patient is the physical specimen that is myself.

I go back because it is fun to see them. I go back because it is a reminder to me that there are glimpses into heaven on THIS earth.

I go back because I never want to hear them say, “You could visit with US more often.”