Way Late Posting This, I Know

WARNING: Long Post Alert!!!! (Go to the third paragraph if you don't want to read a bunch of stuff)

Was scheduled to meet with the doctor today at 2:30 to review the biopsy results. Frankly, I saw it as any other appointment, i.e. another appointment in which I would learn more about all of this and how we were going to go after the rest of the cancer in there and finish it off. Another option I considered was that it would never be finished off and that there would be a regimen to keep it in control for the rest of my life. Then, there was the possibility that the doctor would call and say the biopsy results weren't back yet and she would need to postpone the appointment. I had reasoned that one out as not likely. When I was diagnosed, I had a scan on Thursday and had the results on the following Monday. Since the most recent biopsy was last Wednesday, the odds of having results today were in my favor. One thinks of all the options. I have friends that tell me I think to much.

"As for you, my fine friend, you're a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come from, we have men who are called heroes. Once a year, they take their fortitude out of moth balls and parade it down the main street of the city and they have no more courage than you have..." - L. Frank Baum

I had my day planned. I had scheduled an appointment with a client near the doctor's office at noon. Then, I would have my lunch at Padow's (a really good Richmond delicatessen) and then would go the the appointment. While in the appointment with the client, my cell phone took a voice mail. When I got out to my car, I saw that I had received a call from the doctor's office. #$^@#$%&W#$%%#$!!!!!! "The appointment is canceled," I thought. I listened to the message and the doctor told me there was no need to come into the office with what she needed to tell me and asked for me to call her back. She did say in the message that there was good news. So, I called. I spoke to her and she confirmed that the biopsy results indicated that the tissue was not cancerous and was most likely some muscle tissue still reacting to the chemotherapy treatments.

We also discussed that we would send my CT and PET scans to the MCV doctor and let him review them. His initial comments after the scans were that we still may radiate the area to kill off any hidden cancer cells to keep them from reproducing. As my scans were at a separate hospital from MCV, they loaded them to a disk (which will be mine to keep when the MCV folks are done with it and I will post images on here as soon as I get the disk back) and I took them directly to MCV at the recommendation of my doctor so that they would be reviewed promptly. MCV will not be looking to see if they spot any cancer. They will be looking to see if it is feasible to administer any radiation treatments due to the location of the glowing area in relation to other organs. We'll find out.

During all of that, I called people to let them know. If I haven't called you or e-mailed you yet, forgive me. Some of the calls take longer than others and I treasure every minute of them. We'll talk soon. Feel free to call me if you like.

Now...The Rest Of The Story.

Every one I talked to today was ecstatic. Some more of that "medicine" I need and, like I have received in the past. My response was not as ecstatic. I think I tried to fight it, but couldn't get myself past being lukewarm about it. As I thought and talked it about it, I realized it was because I have spent the past year being told I have cancer and that we were working on treating it. For there to be a day when it suddenly all may be gone, is kind of difficult to wrap your head around. There is that notion that it could come back. I planted some hibiscus seeds in an area of my yard a few years ago and they never came up. Until this year. The seed was there. It germinated in it's own time. So what's a fella, whose been told that he may be cancer free, to do?

The Rest Of The Story - Part Two

He buys paper tiaras and cheap plastic leis. That's right. I bought them over a week ago to take to the folks at the clinic to recognize my anniversary of meeting them. I meant to take them by last week but some crummy biopsy sedatives got in the way. I wrote the words "Happy Anniversary" on the tiaras and took them to the clinic today. At the same time, I was able to tell them about the outcome of the biopsy. It was a spontaneous party of sorts. It was about me, but it was also about them. They were able to look at a job well done by them. That's how tough their job is. They have to look at ME as a job well done. Bless their hearts.

From there, I went to the radiology department to pick up my scan CD and who is there but one of the technicians who did my PET scan the other week. I got to share the news with her. She also advised me that I would be able to pull the scans up on my computer and view them.

From there, to MCV to drop off the disk and maybe "just happen" to run into some of the good folks down there. I did. The folks I saw commented on how well I looked (I was wearing office attire with a tie vs. pajama bottoms and a casual shirt) and I realized it had to make them feel good about a job well done on their part.

And from there, over to the folks where my stem cells were collected. Same thing. Lots of "how great you look, etc." I told them my "I've had a great year story."

With all that, I realized that I was excited for all of the people who provided any form of medicine whether it be FDA approved medicine or the medicine of thoughts, prayers, food, rides, lawn mowing, laundry, cleaning, laughter, visits, leaf raking, and forgive me if I left anything out. But, to paraphrase the words of the great philosopher, Linus, "That's what it's all about, Charlie Brown."

There are other sweet stories from today. I will not post them here. Nothing scandalous, but I'm respecting the individuals connected to the stories. I'm happy to share them in person with you, but not here.

I've learned what I think is a secret, but it isn't so much a secret. I'll share that with you tomorrow. Here's a hint:

...'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,..." - Elder Joseph Brackett

Forgive me if I made you stumble in the reading of this. The more I write, the more I have to proofread. Seriously, I spend more time proofreading and editing my blog entries than I do composing. It's the least I can do for you.