She Lost Me At "Hello"

I mentioned yesterday that I would introduce you to Barbara Ehrenreich today and I will.

First, I will give you the answer to one of the questions from yesterday: "Did I make the right decisions last year when this all started?" I know that I did. Looking back, I made decisions last year via a different process than I would now. Information came quickly to me last year and I made quick decisions based on intuition rather than a longer analytical process. No one told me I had to make quick decisions even though I had an aggressive form of stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's. I felt comfortable with my oncologist the minute I met her and have grown to like her and respect her even more. I think, sometimes, I even amuse her. With the knowledge I have attained since, I can assuredly say, I would select her as an oncologist if I had to go through the process again.

If you had a chance to watch the interview with Barbara Ehrenreich on The Daily Show link I provided yesterday, you may already know I am a little troubled by her. If you haven't watched the interview,she talks about her latest book, "Bright Sided." She explains that the genesis of the book took place 8 years ago when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. When she was going through it, she says that as she reached out for information and support, she was presented with statements encouraging her to be positive, embrace her disease and that she would come out of it a better person. She said, "I didn't come out of it a better person. I came out nastier."

Jon Stewart asked if those messages were a result of people not knowing what to say and they were offering encouragement as best they could. She replied that positive thinking has developed into a pseudoscience that believes the immune system can be boosted as a result of positive thinking.

Jon asked, "Isn't it the intent of some of the positive messages to comfort others going through tough times?"

She replied, " I never think delusion is OK."

To be fair to her, I will tell you that there were other portions of her interview with which I agreed. In addition, there is an excerpt from her book posted on an NPR site which I link here.

The exception I take with her is her attempt at making a blanket statement about positive thinking for cancer patients. I do not know her cancer story. I can't make a judgment on her and her reaction to any of the treatments/therapies that were offered to her. By the same token, she can not discount the importance of a positive outlook for other cancer patients. The National Cancer Institute addresses it in a section on their website under a header labeled "Emotional Concerns." Labeling something you don't understand, or have never experienced, a "pseudoscience" is a mask for selective ignorance.

To summarize conversations I have had with several doctors and nurses since last year, they have told me, "So many people come to us with negative outlooks. We understand. However, we're here to help them and we aren't going to give up on them. Some of them may not survive their disease. Some will. While they can, they should never deny themselves the ability to live every day they draw a breath. Those who come to us and show that desire (whether they survive or not), are the reasons we stay in our chosen profession."

I've talked in the past about the importance of "going good." I wish Barbara could have met Kay.

“I feel like I had zero control over getting cancer, but I have 100 percent control over how I will respond to dealing with cancer.” - Kay Yow