Heading A Few Miles Due East

Got the official word today that there were more than enough stem cells collected for my transplant. To be exact, they collected 4.7 x 10(6). I wrote it that way as homage to the transplant coordinator who e-mailed the numbers exactly that way to me. Those technical people crack me up. I was flattered that she thought I was bright enough to understand how that translated. I had no problem understanding those numbers in high school chemistry. It was when I was asked to further manipulate them that I ran into trouble. So...the scenario breaks down like this. Wednesday, I go to the clinic for a pre-admit check up and go over the details of being admitted. On Thursday (barring any craziness coming out of Wednesday's check up), I will be admitted. I will post my room address, phone number and my e-mail address on Thursday's blog posting - later that afternoon once I get settled in my room.

A note about my blog content...A friend of mine called me over the weekend concerned about some of the things I posted. He was wondering where my anxiety level was. I assured him I wasn't permanently down. He suggested that I expand on the process of anxiety in all of this.

Sometimes, my anxieties can get pretty high and that contributes to nights that I don't sleep well, etc. I can only be honest with you and let you know exactly what is going on in my head as it happens. My intent is not to garner pity or attention, but to let you know how this whole thing works both mentally and physically. I know that I have no control over the physical part of it, but I can control the mental. It's not always "sunshine, puppies and roses" when you are feeling well physically. That's when you get nailed with anxieties. Most cancer survivors will tell you that sometimes you wait for the other shoe to drop. One thing I will tell you is that I grabbed hold of this mentally in the early going and have openly discussed my mental state with my caregivers from day one. They have been candid and helpful. However, just because I may seem very upbeat on Tuesday, it doesn't mean that I will be in the same mental state on Wednesday. The trick is to make sure you don't stay in anxiety land and I think I've done a pretty good job staying out of there. I welcome the anxiety because it helps me process myself out of a given anxiety. Just because I have processed that anxiety, doesn't mean it won't reoccur, it means that I am able to deal with it better the next time it comes around. A friend, who is a breast cancer survivor, assured me that anxiety is part of the process and always will be. It just becomes a less frequent visitor as the days go on. I replied to a fellow apheresis "classmate" last week who said, "So, you are a Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma victim too!", with a response of, "No, I'm not. I'm a Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma fighter." Right now, in round 11 of this title fight, I believe I am the favorite of the judges and crowd. However, it doesn't mean that the other guy is going to quit throwing punches.

On the floor where I will be staying in the hospital, there is a social worker. I like that she will be available while I am there.

That's the story. I won't post anything until after the Wednesday appt.

"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes,....,and prepared to do any good work." - A Guy Named Paul