No Pressure At All

A former co-worker, Will, was the first person I knew that closely affected me when he was diagnosed with cancer. Even though it was almost 30 years ago, I remember it well. I confess, I can't remember what form of cancer he had. When he came back to work, I didn't know what to do or say. All I did was pick back up on the good natured kidding that we had been doing before he got sick. I felt pretty inadequate. I wish I had known then that maybe I was pretty close to doing the right thing. I remember going to visit him in the hospital when he had a recurrence. When I walked into the room, he was in pretty bad shape. I had no idea what to do or say. We had a nickname for each other and when I walked in, he grinned as best he could and called me by that nickname.We had a great conversation after that. I remember his funeral as a celebration of his life. It was appropriate. Will cherished his living days.

Cancer gives you permission to cherish your living days without needing someone else's permission. I gave myself an hour and a half of good mental time yesterday before I went to chemo. It was an activity I have done before, but have never enjoyed it as much as I did yesterday. Medical note: I go in this morning for my 30+ hour chemo treatment (armed with Peep Colored Puke Prevention Pills - if I can get my doctor to refer to them with that lingo, I know I will be in her head. She used the term "alien" the other day. I was so proud of her.), so there won't be a post tomorrow until tomorrow evening (unless by some miracle I find a Wi-Fi connection I can tap into this time).

As a person who cares about a friend or family member with cancer, all you have to do is help them cherish their days. There are no rules about what is appropriate. You are allowed to make mistakes too. For me, I had to learn in the early going that there were things I needed to accept for the gift of compassion they were. I didn't suddenly become an expert on cancer when I was diagnosed with it. I'm not one yet - nor will I ever be. I'm too lazy to put that pressure on myself. Nor should you. But there are a "Holy Host of Others Standing Round Me" (and You) to help us all. It's pretty cool. I added some more to my list last night when some of my NC friends became Facebook friends. It's awesome and pretty humbling that those fine folks want to be my Facebook friend. Them's some of the "angels" I've talked about in the past. And what's really cool is that they are becoming friends with some of my long time friends/angels here in Richmond. When that happens, it makes my day "the best day ever!" (I'm starting to get that expression down, Bo!).

I have some other friends that the mother/wife in their family is struggling with kidney, diabetes and loss of sight issues. They are great people and can use your good thoughts and prayers. Remember Karl,Dee Dee, the children and the seeing eye dog.

My friend Pat in Maryland has a friend that was recently diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer. She's concerned for him.

This growing list of people of whom I am being made aware makes me recognize there are people out there who I don't know that are facing their own challenges. We don't know them by name, but let's keep them in mind anyway. I've learned through this "fun" that the world can get smaller by the use of the internet. We may meet those folks someday. How cool would that be?

Wish them their "good times ahead" days that they deserve.